


Scars

by aozorakon



Category: So Weird, So Weird (TV)
Genre: F/M, so weird - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-09
Updated: 2015-04-09
Packaged: 2018-03-22 02:28:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,060
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3711418
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aozorakon/pseuds/aozorakon
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wake up, Molly.” I told her, “everyone else has. Everyone else sees it. Everyone but you.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scars

**Author's Note:**

> This is one of my old works. I haven't written in a while but I want to get back into it.  
> Started: 6:21 AM Nov.6.2011  
> Ended: 7:37 AM Nov.6.2011  
> Warnings: Cutting

Carey sat back in one of the chairs facing the stage, his legs spread out for comfort, his head lulled back and eyes closed. The show had been over for a couple of hours now. The bar wasn't rundown, it was nice and spacious. They were traveling again.

He thought about how he missed his brother, Jack and Fi. All of them away at college Clu was a year ahead of Jack and about to graduate and Fi was a freshmen this year. He missed Annie too, she was back to traveling with her parents a trip to France maybe? He wasn't sure, but he missed them all. They were close to his age, but still young, the twenties hadn't caught them yet and it sure hadn't aged them like it had aged him.

An old song was playing on the jukebox, “when everything's made to be broken, I just want you to know who I am...” Carey sighed softly. He was thinking about it again. When he thought about it, he tried to ignore it. A line here and there, he could cut himself to ribbons, but it was much simpler than that. A cigarette here and there turned into two packs a day. But at least he had an excuse to leave a room.

–

"When everything feels like the movies, yeah you bleed just to know you're alive.” Her voice sang out from behind me, all I had to do was open my eyes and I could see her.

"Yeah...” I sat up fully and she sat at my table.

"What's up?” She asked in the most motherly way.

"I miss the gang.” I started with a simple explanation.

"Me too,” She offered a sad smile and I knew that see was thinking about him too.

"Get over it, Molly,” I said as I lit a cigarette, “for fuck's sake, it's been 15 years.” My tone was harsh and unforgiving. “I don't see Jack crying over Gabe like you're crying over him.”

She was shocked, a double hitter, killing two birds with one stone. Don't mind the metaphor there, it's harsh too. “That's not--”

I cut her off right away, “it's the same, he thought he was in love too. I thank some higher power he didn't have the immature streak that you had. You ran off and fell for him without a second thought, had kids, got married, and fuck, stop blaming yourself for his running off and getting killed at least. You couldn't have stopped him just like you can't stop Fiona.”

Her mouth was hanging open in shock, I couldn't believe it myself really, where was all of this coming from? “You search for him everywhere but don't even think about how he left you, You don't even give a second thought about how he abandoned you with two small children. You know what Fiona told me? She told me that he was dead before impact, he was DOA, Molly.”

"Carey, stop.” She was weak, her voice fragile.

"Wake up, Molly.” I told her, “everyone else has. Everyone else sees it. Everyone but you.”

"Sees what?”

I felt drunk, but I hadn't had a drink, “mom said to get over my puppy crush, dad stayed quiet...” I can't stop these words from coming as I stub out the half smoked cigarette. “Clu told me that I was disgusting, Fiona called me sick too and Jack,” I laughed like a maniac for a second or two, “Jack said if I ever touched you he'd kill me.”

Realization washed over her in a heartbeat. She was shocked for a second, then she put on a mask. She pushed me back without touching me. “That's absurd, your mother is right.”

"Did you think for a second that I would try anything?” I asked darkly, “I'd first slit my own throat before I laid a hand on you. This confession in more than enough. I don't want the world to see me, because I don't think that they'd understand, when everything's meant to be broken, I just want you to know who I am.” Ever have that moment, when a song it perfect for you, playing at exactly the right time, right place. Your own personal theme music.

"Carey...” Molly couldn't think of a word to say. She might have been stuck on the things that I'd said before.

"I'm in love with you.” I told her, my voice was soft but not nervous. “Before you say anything, I know you don't feel the same. I realize now what I said to you a couple of minutes ago, and I know that there is no chance. I've felt this way for a couple of years now and it's finally gotten so bad that I guess I've been obvious about it lately. You wouldn't notice though, you're so self-involved that you wouldn't see a bus until it hit you.”

"You're right, there is no chance.” Her voice was bitter. I've said all the wrong things to make it right. If I let her hate me, if I make her hate me it wont be as bad.

–

I'm sorry.

I wrote down two words and placed the note on her pillow. I didn't sign it, there was no reason to, she would know it was me.  
I was in the tiny bathroom, sitting on the floor by myself when she found it. I was thinking about it, how should I do it, right or wrong?

"Carey?” Her voice jarred me from my thoughts.

I cut cleanly on my upper arm and watching little beads of red form. The oxygen turning my blue blood red. I gasped softly when I made the cut and she heard it.

"Carey, what are you doing?” She was at the door in seconds, I'd left it unlocked. When my answer was another gasp of pain, she came in. “Carey...” She didn't yell at me, she didn't tell me I was stupid or sick, she just dropped down and pulled me into her lap gently. She held me close and smiled sadly, “I won't lie and say that I don't love you, but I wont be with you.”

"I know,” I told her and leaned on her. I wanted her to hold me up, protect me. Not like a mother, like a lover and somehow she was.


End file.
